I know I’ve been away for quite a while. Life seems to get in the way of blogging. The holidays get busier and crazier every year. The main reason I’ve been absent however is that shortly after I completed my CPR certification (the very last thing I needed to complete for Step 3) DH told me he was having second thoughts about Fostering.
To be honest, I knew this was coming, but pretended that he’d come along once he knew he was the one holding up the process. He hadn’t completed most of his portion of the paperwork or other items in order to move on in the process. Maybe he was just too busy. He didn’t want anyone knowing we were getting licensed. I rationalized that he was just a private person and didn’t want everyone in our business.
Knowing my husband and not wanting to proceed if he is not willing, I’ve left him to his thoughts on the matter. It has been difficult not bringing it up, but I don’t want to pressure him. I’ve had many questions and doubts during the last couple of months. Does this mean we aren’t going to adopt? Is this God’s way of saying I’m following my plan not His?
Much to my own surprise, I’ve come to a place of acceptance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving up. It’s become clear that I need to be content with the life I’ve been given and not spend my time whining and sulking about things not going at the pace or way I wanted.
I have been blessed with two healthy, beautiful, fun-loving children. My husband loves me and provides for me in a way that allows me to have my dream job of being a SAHM. Our home is safe and (mostly) happy. God is an ever-present part of my life.
I’d appreciate prayers that I remain focused on God’s plan as I know he can and will do the rest.
I need to vent here today. Why is it that a homeschooling parent or SAHM is not allowed to have a bad day? Maybe I’m alone in this, but there have been many days over the last 7 years where my bad day has only been made worse by people who just don’t get it.
When someone who works outside the home says they’ve had a bad day, no one thinks twice about it. No one tells them to quit their job. Many even give them a little break and try to be extra nice to them. We may even offer to listen while they vent about their rough day.
But if a SAHM or a homeschooling parent says the same thing, people ask why they do it or suggest you send your kid to public school. Some even go a step farther and wonder aloud how ‘just staying home’ could be all that bad.
I am happy with my choice to be a SAHM and to home school my kiddos. That does not mean that every day will be wonderful. Like everyone else, we sometimes have a bad day and just want to vent a little.
I was blessed this past weekend to be included in a retreat with some homeschooling mommies. The retreat was located in Martinsville, IN at Shepherds Gate Inn (I’ve listed a link below). Since hubby and kids were going to be in the same area that weekend it made the decision to participate an easy one.
When I first arrived, my nerves threatened to take over. I’m not good at doing new things or meeting new people. This retreat would entail both. Some of the ladies I already knew, but others I did not. As a ‘baby Christian’, I was nervous about looking foolish in front of these Godly women.
All of the wonderful women made me feel at ease as part of the group. None of them gave even the slightest hint of judgement of me or my journey as a Christian, just the opposite was true. They all strove to help me. The staff at Shepherd’s Gate Inn were delightfully welcoming. I quickly began to relax and enjoy just being in the moment.
As is expected when a group of women get together, there was a lot of talking, a little crafting, but mostly our time was spent working on our relationship with the Lord. I learned a lot about myself and my relationships, both with my family and with God. As trite as it sounds, I truly feel changed by this awesome weekend.
If you are a Christian and seek to deepen your relationship with God, I urge you to look into spending some time at Shepherd’s Gate Inn. You will not regret it. If you’re not able to get to them, I ask that you pray for their wonderful ministry so others can benefit from what they offer.