On Hold…

I know I’ve been away for quite a while.  Life seems to get in the way of blogging.  The holidays get busier and crazier every year.  The main reason I’ve been absent however is that shortly after I completed my CPR certification (the very last thing I needed to complete for Step 3) DH told me he was having second thoughts about Fostering.

To be honest, I knew this was coming, but pretended that he’d come along once he knew he was the one holding up the process.   He hadn’t completed most of his portion of the paperwork or other items in order to move on in the process.  Maybe he was just too busy.  He didn’t want anyone knowing we were getting licensed.  I rationalized that he was just a private person and didn’t want everyone in our business.

Knowing my husband and not wanting to proceed if he is not willing, I’ve left him to his thoughts on the matter.  It has been difficult not bringing it up, but I don’t want to pressure him.  I’ve had many questions and doubts during the last couple of months.  Does this mean we aren’t going to adopt?  Is this God’s way of saying I’m following my plan not His?

Much to my own surprise, I’ve come to a place of acceptance.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving up.  It’s become clear that I need to be content with the life I’ve been given and not spend my time whining and sulking about things not going at the pace or way I wanted.

I have been blessed with two healthy, beautiful, fun-loving children.  My husband loves me and provides for me in a way that allows me to have my dream job of being a SAHM.  Our home is safe and (mostly) happy.  God is an ever-present part of my life.

I’d appreciate prayers that I remain focused on God’s plan as I know he can and will do the rest.